I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
