Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
