I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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