At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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