i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
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I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
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I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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