getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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