All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
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I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
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11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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