I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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