Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
