ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
