That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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