So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
