Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
