When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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