Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
