Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
