I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hands were made for my vagina.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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