I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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