i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
