so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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