I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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