i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
