I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
