1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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