Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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