i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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