Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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