am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i wish my penis had a tongue
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
