a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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