you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
