i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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