Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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