Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize