we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize