Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Randomize
