Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
why do cheetos always look like penises
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
