you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
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