I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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