omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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