saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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