he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
