I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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