Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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