Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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