she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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