She is in my trunk
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
