Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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