direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
