It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
