dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
