My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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