Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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