..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We were destined to go to rehab together
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
