i permit you to call me
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
