shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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