If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
