Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize