Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
