we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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