I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Randomize
