it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
