is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Randomize
