Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
