he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
